The Holi-daze

Ahh the most wonderful time of year. 

When you try to balance the pressure of presents, perfection for family photos, taking care of yourself and everyone else, often for long extended periods of time when you're home with family. 

When you realize how quickly the year went and you start to make plans, and set expectations for what you'll do differently (read better) next year. 

When you are allured by flashy sales and deals. 

When you are comforted by sweet, sticky, and salty foods because you tell yourself, I will start working out again in the New Year. 

When you are stuck inside too much and forget how refreshing fresh air can be. 

Any one else with me? 

During this season I often forget the strategies to feeling good, feeling connected and balanced and happily in each moment. 

Having a toddler helps pull me back in to the moments. 

Having to sit with her and watch her eat, because she takes so long. 

Laying awake with her as she burns off her energy and just listening to her chatter. 

The Thursday before Christmas I brought both kids to the office with me. I had work I needed to do, and we didn't have child care for either. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I was able to get done. Ava even slept on my back for an hour while I worked and told Emilio every 5 minutes that I couldn't play with him, I had to work. 

Today, I'm going in to my third day of being home with them, not consecutively. It isn't a dynamic I'm used to. So it feels challenging in some ways. 

To ensure I'm connected while also making sure my needs are met. 

I'm realizing in many ways working gives me balance. 

I'm thankful for the time off work, the break to refresh. I'm thankful for the ability to be home with my children to enjoy the stuck inside craziness of the holidays. 

And I'm finding myself struggling, and reaching the end of my rope. I'm not connected with myself, so I can't easily connect with them and their needs. That's kind of an aha! moment. 

So far this morning I've kind of just ignored them. Encouraging them to play with themselves or solo so I can set my brain up for the day ahead. And it seems to be working. Although now they're loudly singing next to me in the Kitchen, and hugging my legs and pulling on me. 

So for the next few days before we are back to the grind of 2017 I'm committing to finding moments to recharge myself, more time outside, less time on my phone, and less crap in my body. I'm not going to wait for 2017, I'm going to do it now. So that I don't look back and think I wasted time, or spent it in regretful ways. 

And I leave this here in case you want or need to do the same. 

Happy New Year!